Tobias had attempted an entrance he hoped would enchant his daughter.

soolooxcoopter:

obesealpaca:

When an employee at the McDonald’s drive through asks me how I’m doing, I always ask them back, just in case they need someone to talk to because you never know

Those fries could be salted with tears

So you’re the fucker who slows down the drive through

pizzaforpresident:

radiobread29:

I found an iPhone today and I looked through the pictures and realized it belonged to my sassy mailman.

IM SCREAMING 

captainshenanigans:

getting ready for school every morning

tltty:

this is my black friend with duct tape on her mouth

this was her after ripping off the tape

and this is her after she found out i was taking pictures

did-yuo-kno:

alibody:

The sky is blue because light from the sun enters our atmosphere it collides with molecules in the air.  The blue part of the light gets scattered more than the other parts during these collisions and thus makes the sky appear to our eyes as blue.  If the light from the sun took a straight path down to our eyes with no scattering or absorption in the atmosphere, the sky would in fact look much as it does at night in the day time.

…I’m a nerd.

I don’t think the ability to copy-paste something from Yahoo Answers classifies you as a “nerd”, sorry.